Is It Just Me?

Is it just me? Am I a horrible mother & wife because the house is a mess? Am I a flaky friend for often forgetting to respond to texts until a day later because I'm too busy checking off my To Do list ? 

Can I just not handle the pressure of running a household & raising kids? Do I just not have what it takes to be a good mother & wife?

Is it just me?

These questions often fill my mind.

The thing is...I have always wanted to be a mother. For years I've watched my mother cook, clean, entertain us, love us & teach us. She is my friend & advice giver, the family referee, the adventurer & dream chaser, the creative crafter (seriously!), the business idea planner & inventor, the warm  hug giver & comforter, the silly one that makes us all laugh...she is my mom & with that comes SO many jobs & roles in our family!
 I look up to that & aspire to be all those things.
All in all....I think I'm doing okay. I mean, I clean & organize well. My family thinks I'm a pretty decent cook & baker. I'm fun & creative. I've taught my daughter many things, including a bit of sign language as a baby & she now speaks over 100 words @ age 17 months. 

So why do I often find myself so inadequate & so overwhelmed by the endless "To Do" lists? I mean I'm just: running a household, caring for an active & somewhat demanding toddler & our high energy puppy, trying to nurture & grow a young marriage, working on improving my health, starting a healing & weight loss journey**, trying to run a blog, running an at home business, & of course keeping up with the little day to day things, ya know like showering & eating, cleaning, dishes..., oh & since we eat mostly "clean" in our house, it takes a bit more planning to ensure meals are nutritious & unprocessed.
This list doesn't even include doctor visits or responsibilities such as keeping up with friends' & family members' lives. 

To top it off, my husband doesn't get home until around 9pm-11pm each night. Which means I am the one taking care of everything during the week. Thank God we live 'with' my husband's family so I have people around if I really need an extra set of hands or someone to watch the baby so I can use the bathroom for 10 seconds. :) 

I  essentially have to steal time to get work done...like right now my daughter is supposed to be napping but instead she is ripping pages from a book. Let me go swap out the book for a teddy bear.
Be Right Back.

And now she is throwing a tantrum because she doesn't want to nap (a problem we face daily). 

Excuse me a moment while I try and get her settle down. 

*******************

Okay, what was I saying....oh right...

I often feel like the work load listed above is easier than I perceive it & it's just me...I'm just lacking.

Anyone feel this way or is it just me?
"Just me"....this phrase is constantly used in my week. With my husband's schedule, I feel the pressure of being the one to run our household pretty much solo. I try not to ask him for too much help because with 12-16 hour days I think he's more exhausted than I am. But that being said, I often feel like a single mom. 

But that is where my thinking is flawed. When I alienate myself from God & try to carry it all on my own back, I am going to crumble. I just can't do this on my own! 

That's just it....I am relying solely on myself. I fight so hard not to ask for help from others and even worse...from God.

I NEED HIS help! I really do! I guess that's what He is teaching me, that my good intentions of creating a scheduled & functioning household is great...but without Him in the picture daily...my life is like a sinking boat, holes & all, using a sippy cup to dump out the water.
God needs me to trust Him enough to get out of the sinking boat & walk above the water hand in hand. 

 The enemy wants me to feel overwhelmed to feel like I can't do this at all & that I have to do this on my own.
My pride always comes before the fall. You know that moment, when you're sitting on the bedroom floor, head in your hands, tears down your face, thinking...I am such a horrible parent because I can't even meal plan right/keep up with laundry/keep up a cleaning routine [insert imaginary shortcoming here]....

I hope I'm not the only mom who has had one of these moments where you just want to crawl into bed & give up until tomorrow or maybe just toss that To Do list out the window & movie binge Netflix with a whole container of ice cream.
 It's not just me right? 

I think it also scares me that I only have one child right now...I get the feeling it's going to get a lot harder with more and as they grow up. 

I am learning that I am doing the best I can & that's all I can do.
If I put the important stuff first, everything else will find its place. I have been trying to put aside my busyness & lists to spend more one-on-one time with my daughter.
My days are so much better when I focus on my blessings & the time I get to spend with her. Time goes so quick! She needs me right now and the one on one attention...and I am beyond happy to give that to her. God gave me her as a responsibility and a gift. So if that means the laundry gets put off one more day, I think it will be okay. More important things got done...like my daughter learning her colors or singing along to Elmo. ;) 

My hope is someone reading this feels as I do & understands they are not alone! Not only do many of us not have it together, but you have an even bigger help if we just seek God!
 If we rely on Him for strength & our ability, everything will fall into place. The house may still be messy & that To Do list may still have many things left unchecked. But when our focus shifts, the more important things will get done & mommy will have more peace.
And when Mommy's happy, everyone is happier. :)

 We moms need to seek community. We need to connect to other moms that don't have it all together & are not perfect. Not that a perfect mom actually exists. BUT for the service of other moms, we need to admit where we have faults or struggles & reach out to others.

So...what I'm learning in all of this chaos is we need to:

*Admit we can't do it alone but that we don't HAVE to do it alone!

*Do the best we can & be content with our best!
*Know that God created us with unique talents, personalities & is aware of what actual flaws we need to work on with & through Him. Not the imaginary flaws we create in our hearts. I'm sure Jesus does not care if we are not "Pinterest-worthy" bakers or crafters.
*Know that each one of us has a different situation and story....so STOP COMPARING your household, family, or situation with others or society's ideals. 

*Put the most important things first....like precious time together with our children, spouses & families. 

*Take time for yourself, self care is just as important and caring for your family.
 *Take time for you & God, do a devotional or set time aside daily to read the Bible 

*Constantly count your blessings!! There is more to be thankful for than there is to be frustrated about. 

*Seek community & friendship with other moms

God Bless & May You Find Your Peace & Validation In Him

**=see my post on this 

24 Day Challenge Extension & Results So Far!

After doing the 24 Day Challenge with AdvoCare, I have decided to continue with a extension of the challenge :)  
Basically that entails for the next few months, continuing using the products & schedule used in the "Max Phase" which are Days 11-24 on the challenge. I will soon be doing a post covering what the challenge actually entails, products used & my review of them! :)

All in all, I love how amazing I feel & how much energy I have! I feel better than I have in a couple years, have a bunch more energy & able to stay active all day!
I feel more confident & toned, which has led me to pursue new passions! I have actually been doing yoga at home these past few weeks & already noticing more flexibility, which to me is super exciting! I am even considering joining a few fitness classes...which if you know me...is like whoa! I hate group settings when it comes to working out...think gym class growing up being overweight :p ..... and the idea of fitness classes has always scared me!
But I feel awesome & want to get in better shape with better instruction than just YouTube, so I'll just have to ignore everyone else in the room and just focusing on me & my efforts.
Anyways...I feel great, which is saying a bunch! Ask my husband....I'm positive he was tired of me complaining all the time how crappy I felt! ;) 
Here are my results so far! : 

Eating Healthy Isn't Always the Only Answer

Feeling great & healthy really changes the way you look at life, the way you live & the dreams you pursue! 

Here's a bit of back story on my journey to fitness, health & weight loss: 
I have always struggled with my weight growing up. I can list several of the countless horrible things people have said to me, called me or said about my & my weight! Each one stung & scarred my self esteem & my confidence as well as my self worth. Until recently! 

I know I am still "overweight" & want to get in better shape. But for once it's for different reasons. Although some of my reasons are still selfish & perhaps vain (such as wanting to look great in family photos), many of my reasons are health related & more importantly for the sake of my daughter!
I'm doing this for my daughter♥ I want to be someone she can look up to with a positive body image & be a mama who lives an active & healthy lifestyle!  I want to give her a better example of positive body image & better self love than I have had all my life. I'm finally tired of this battle, finally tired of feeling so horrible about myself! 
Yes, I'm sure when people say things about me they will still hurt, I'm still human. But...I refuse to allow those comments to define me, or determine my self worth. Its easy for people to make comments when they don't have the same struggles. Even if their struggles are similar, everyone is on a different journey & path. Everyone is fighting a different battle. After trying so hard to eat healthy and not losing weight my perspective has changed. Its two fold....I take full responsibility of my weight & therefore people's hurtful comments don't mean much because I am in control of what I eat, if I work out...how I live my life. That being said the other side is that I have tried eating healthy & it does not necessarily guarantee you will be skinny...since I do not eat fried foods because health wise I cant (long story).... I know that I'm not just lacking in self control, sitting around eating countless Big Macs & fries...my irrational fear of people looking at me & thinking "Oh...well if you stop eating all those Twinkies & french fries you wouldn't be fat" is invalid! Firstly,  I cant even eat Twinkies I'm gluten/wheat intolerant & I cant eat fried foods..no gallbladder=fried foods make me super sick! 

Secondly, no one else knows the battle I'm facing or what I am doing to work towards  my health therefore....what ever people say critically does not matter! Either they are horrible people I probably don't want to be friends with anyways (they probably hate rainbows & puppies too ;)) or they simply don't understand my personal story & are still people I don't want to hang around with! I choose to surround myself with people who will bring positivity to my life, are encouraging & supportive. Negative, critical people I have no time for, other than to pray for them & hope my life serves as an example for whatever they're going through.   If people are rude & judgmental...oh well, that's THEIR problem...& happy to say NO LONGER MINE! :) 

Here's how I tired losing weight by simply "eating healthy" & how AdvoCare has made the difference! 
After so much frustration I am so blessed to have found such a great vehicle for change, health & fitness! While 7lbs in 30 days may not seem like a lot to you...its a mini miracle for me :)
Everyone can tell you..."Just eat healthy you'll lose weight!" Its not always the case.....
I've been Gluten Free for almost 7yrs & for almost a year I've been "clean eating", my grocery list is fruit, veggies & lean meat, basically the only packaged food I eat is quinoa & brown rice, I don't add sugar to anything, I don't eat french fries or anything else fried/greasy, I don't drink soda & I don't drink alcohol...and yet the scale wouldn't budge...but rather started going up! How much more could I cut out of my diet?
My friend who turned her health around & lost weight (& kept it off 2 yrs later) introduced me to Advocare. I'm pretty skeptical of a lot of stuff out there on the market, but after some research & my friend's personal testimony (she is the sweetest, most humble person I've met)... I tried it & love what it is doing for my body! My body is getting the nutrition it must have been lacking, I have smooth all day energy & finally getting back into shape! The best part is being able to come alongside others in their health & fitness journey & see the changes in their lives! So 7lbs in 30 days & being part of lives being changed for better...I'll take it! 

A Better 'Relationship' With Food

My husband made a really valid point the other day that I never thought about...
I had mentioned something about eating something I shouldn't and used the phrase "I cheated" in regards to my diet. He causally said that you shouldn't think of it that way... as "cheating" & that it was an unhealthy way to look at it.
Not sure why I had never thought to question the term... or my relationship with food, but in that instant it kind of just hit me. I have this unhealthy 'relationship' with food! I have linked so many emotional responses and attachments to food and have created such bad eating habits.

Cheating has such a negative connotation linked to it. It's a dirty word in real life relationships as well as the one most of us women are in with food. We talk about eating a cupcake in terms of committing an act against our diet. As if we are so committed and devoted to it that we are emotionally straying.

We are raised in this society where food is more than just a necessity and a diet is only used to lose weight. When I tell people I 'eat clean'...it's my diet! It's not the type frequently thought of in society, where a diet is a restriction of calories or certain foods as a means to lose weight. I'm talking about a diet in anthropological sense...it is what I eat to sustain my body!

Food is meant for fuel, as you can read about in my previous post. We need to develop a better perceptive that food has a purpose. It is not just meant for our taste buds or to fill an emotional need. We need to stop attaching an emotional relationship to food. Cookies can make us feel warm and fuzzy but it will not solve our problems or fill an emotional need. And while there's nothing wrong with enjoying the joy that comes with a fresh baked, gooey, chocolate chip cookie...we need to enjoy the cookie for it being just a cookie and not over indulge or place a bigger attachment to it.

Also we should not indulge in treats because we have a rough day or we feel down about ourselves and our weight. So many of us get into this cycle of allowing food to have a hold over us. The vicious  cycle goes like this for example: we had a long day...so we eat a cookie, that cookie reminds us of how 'fat' we are & how we really should not have ate it, so now we feel even worse, so we figure what the heck, it's not getting any better...and we eat three more cookies, which in turn causes us to feel super guilty and vow never to touch another cookie ever again! And then we spend the rest of the evening in guilt, misery and the depletion of our self worth. Because as many of us have been brainwashed to think...we link our self worth to our looks, our weight, and our ability to avoid 'cheating' on our diets.

Food is food, it is a necessity, it is meant to provide our bodies energy & nutrition needed in order to function properly. That being said...is okay to indulge in a cupcake or cookie once in while without feeling guilty. I use the word indulge, because you should, you should savor every bite and enjoy what you are eating. But food should not be an award, or a punishment.
Really you should not eat those things often simply because it does not benefit your body in properly functioning & is counterproductive to getting your body in better shape & health.  I would limit it to once in while & not several times a week. What you put in your body, is what is being used to fuel it, so just be mindful of what you put in!
That being said... you should not withhold from eating treats simply because you will feel guilty, or because you're over weight thus you "can't eat stuff like that".
You CAN enjoy a treat once in a while....you're not a bad person & you didn't have a "bad dieting day" if you do! Start establishing a better 'relationship' with food & STOP thinking you "cheated" on your diet.  ;)

AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge Results!

I completed my first 24 Day Challenge with AdvoCare! I am down 5lbs & 7.5 inches (3 from waist etc.) I feel amazing, more energized, more confident, more toned & much more motivated to keep pushing towards my goal! I feel healtheir & able to stay much more active all day! My husband can attest that I have been pushing to be more active on the weekends & doing more active activites such as long walks and bike rides!Before doing Advocare & before Spark I would drag my feet just on a walk  around town! I seriously had no energy or endurance to do anything, now I'm the one suggesting bike rides & other active adventures! I feel like a changed person! Even more exciting, I am helping change other people's lives in the process! As a new distributor, I get to come alongside people to help them get healthier & reach their goals! To be a part of someone's health or weight loss journey is such a blessing!

Here are my result photos!
I am so happy to post these! I have a bit to go, to reach my goal, but I am enjoying the journey! I will be doing an extension if the challenge starting next week :) There are a few things I will be tweaking, such as adding cardio to my routine & really staying on top of my sugar intake. I did well with not eating added sugar but there were a couple times I gave into my cravings. I'm definitely not beating myself over those moments but when you see the results you can get you find those "I have to have..." moments...the added calories & sugar are not worth it! :)

The photos:
Left: Day 1
Right: Day 24 (well morning after Day 24)

Food Is Fuel

Food is fuel used for & by your body. That may seem like a "duh" statement or it may be eye opening. For me...it was eye opening!

Many discussions with my husband revolve around food, healthy eating and nutrition. In all our talks about what to eat & why eating healthy is important...one conversation in particular always stands out to me!
My husband used to not eat super healthy & more often than not, ate lots of  pepperoni pizza, burgers, fries, fast food etc...though not a big dessert or candy person he failed to see the harm in these foods.
So one day I figured I'd explain it in a way that would make more sense from a guys perspective & so far its stuck for even me ;)
So.....
Think of it this way you wouldn't put sand or dirt in your car's gas tank would you? Of course not!! It would ruin your car, the engine, & wouldn't run right.
Now I'm no mechanic & don't know much about how cars work but...I know the basic concept that you put gas in your car to fuel it. What you put in affects how the car works.
Your body is the same thing! What you put in is used for fuel. If its not the proper fuel your body gets gunked up & doesn't work properly. Simple as that! Put in your body what it was made to eat and use as energy for proper functioning!
It was when I found clean eating and it just struck me as "duh"! Its not just a diet, not just about not eating cookies & depriving you of "cheat" foods.
Its a way of living that just makes sense & is most natural in my opinion. Its about providing your body what is was intended to eat! What it was created to eat! In a sense most people take better car of their car than they do their body. Eat clean, eat natural...give your body the proper fuel :)
**Curious about what clean eating means and entails check back this weekend on a post covering clean eating basics ;)

Living An Extraordinary Life

Everyone wants to live an extraordinary life to some degree! Some imagine being the hero of their story, some just want adventure, some just want a break from the mundane.
Here at Living Inspired, I firmly believe in living life to the fullest, embracing each moment & seeing the adventure in each day!
Over at MindBodyGreen.com, Kate Swoboda wrote a really awesome list on simple ways to start living a more extraordinary life, titled  "8 Ways To Make Your Life Extraordinary, No Matter How Ordinary It Seems".
 I gotta say, I do the first thing on the list pretty much every night I cook. I blast Pandora, sing & dance in the kitchen & act silly with my daughter. And as much as I don't love cooking or meal prepping, those few minutes of laughter and music are often the best part of my day!
Taking it from boring & mundane to feeling alive & free!
The others on the list...I am going to start working on!

Check out the list here:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13938/8-ways-to-make-your-life-extraordinary-no-matter-how-ordinary-it-seems.html#comments

Living Life to The Fullest

I firmly believe in living life to the fullest. Living is more than just getting by, just existing. It is embracing the moment, realizing how fragile & short life is. It is realizing each day, each moment is a gift. No one is guaranteed today or tomorrow, so enjoy every moment. Living fully is embracing the adventures that find us & finding new adventures in each day.
Along the way, bless others! You never know how short life is, so do the most you can for others while you still have time! Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, how they blessed your life . Tell them you love them, every day!
This life is fleeting & you can't take your treasures with you so invest in the people you love, people you meet, invest in helping others, in giving back & enriching others lives. Those are the things worth investing in!
Nothing lasts forever....things will break or get destroyed, money will lose its value...leaving behind a legacy of enriching others lives, making a difference, glorifying God in how you live...that will last far longer!